I'm HarryJust Harry
by Crime-against-me
Summary: A diffrent sort of self insert! give it a whirl! lol, My little OC ends up in Harry's body; whats a fan to do but live it like she knows it and hope to  never  wake up.-Year one. Rated M because we're teenagers and never know when to not curse.
1. the BWL to defy physics

Title: "I'm Harry...just Harry."  
Rated: M  
Summary: I'm Harry Potter; or at least I'm pretending to be, after all this is just a dream…right?  
Genre: Fantasy Romance  
Characters: Harry Potter  
Author Note: I just thought about this while I was working out the next chapter for Another Time (Star Trek 2009), and I just thought for a moment what I would do in her shoes whilst looking at my HP&tSS book.

Chapter One: The Boy who Lived to Defy Physics

I'm not going to bore you with the details of how I ended up in Harry bloody Potters bloody body, 'cause honestly I don't know how it happened, I just remember waking up in the cupboard under the stairs on Dudley Dursley's eleventh birthday. The pounding on the door, Petunia's voice calling me from the other side, telling me to get up. The sound of footsteps eagerly running down the stairs then back up suddenly to one particular floor board that was obviously loose and collecting more dust then the rest. Sneezing, I never knew how much dust could be in such a small room, I glared at receding sound of Dudley's laughter and stomping feet, I didn't open the door waiting for him to barrel on by.

One thing you should take note, Dudley does not like to be evaded, he opened the cupboard door slapped me in the face and slammed the door back. I'm suprised the slap didn't wake me up, it wasn't no friendly tap on the cheeck, I'm amazed Harry hadn't ever blown a gasget like my little sister did whenever I annoyed her one too many times. I listened to Petunia's nasal voice exclaim how she "-wanted everything to be perfect for-" her little Duddykins. I had to hold back my snort. For the first time in my life I felt like snorting, but I didn't dare make Vernon mad.

"How many are there?" Dudley asked as if he couldn't count.

"Thirty-six, counted them myself," Vernon said proudly. Smiling with pride at his 'little' boy.

"Thirty-six! But last year...last year I had Thirty-seven!" His face got dangerously red almost purple and all blotchy looking. He glared down at his father in anger. Now seeing as Vernon was bigger, taller, and the grown-up in this situation I was suprised to see him flinch at Dudley's outburst. They spoiled and dotted on him way too much.

"Well, you see dear,-when we go out, we'll buy you two new presents, How's that Duddykins?" Although I admit I felt a bit jealous for Harry at this obvious show of motherly affection. I also couldn't help but note two things. One: if they hadn't told Dudley how many presents there were (or maybe ommited the truth), he wouldn't have blown up. Two: this was Petunia's only child, I could understand why Petunia dotted on her son like crazy. Growing up with a witch as a younger sibling (and the younger are usually the one's dotted on) she was probably unconciously showing him all the love that she had repressed the desire for. I rather hoped that she had another kid, for both thier sakes-or adopted some baby and never told it they were adopted.

For the time being Dudley was rather happy and tore into his presents. He didn't unwrap them like this was a once in a year thing, he tore into them like their were a billion still to come. I was rather glad I only ever got at the most five presents from my family on my birthday, that made me all the more special; when I wake up and remembered this dream I'm going to rant about it for days and shower my loved ones with extra love.

I made the bacon, eggs, and pancakes like I'd been doing it for years - and I have; at home, in my _real_ nineteen year old **female** body, so the only thing different to me was the height, lack of muscular strength (his puny body didn't even have the bare minimum causing me to grip the pan with two hands and it still wobbled), and that...that, IT...causing me to walk funny. I never realized how much I swung my hips till I woke up.

When I got the mail, I stared at my **cough**Harry's**cough** Hogwarts letter, it was a dream come true. I almost cried! What person could read the Harry Potter series and not wish to receive one? I was convinced my Fourth Grade year that my letter had gotten lost in the mail, after I had heard in the news a truly romantic (slightly heartbreaking) letter was found and finally delivered to some ninety year old lady on her death bed. So, yes, I was happy with this dream, and hoped that the next dream I had I ended up in Hogwarts; however, in a female body—jeez I have to go to the bathroom so bad!

Thoughts away from anything involving water I thought about giving it to the Dursley's like in the movie and in the book, but—forgive me for not ever getting my Hogwarts letter! So I did what any ten year old (because remember Harry's birthday is still a couple days away) who lives in a cupboard would do—I put the letter in the back of Dudley's old jeans, which were surprisingly baggy for his young age (but luckily I'm used to running around in baggy clothing and one of the Dursley's probably Petunia, had provided a belt).

With a smile on my face, or rather Harry's (this is all so confusing), I skipped intot he kitchen grinning like a loon. I gave Vernon his bills, and one letter from Aunt Marge, she rathered reminded me of my Aunt Margrett who has a fondness for cats instead of bulldogs or rot wiellers-what ever the heck those dogs were supposed to be. I always thought that England folk had yorkies, terriers, great danes and the such but nope-they had the same kinda dogs I would see back home. Dudley was glaring at me, swinging his cane which I am tempted to call a smelting stick for some reason, debating if he wanted to hit me with it. You could see the indecision clearly on his face; to hit the freak or not hit the freak?

"Oh, Marge's ill," Vernon said to Petunia handing her the letter to open for him while he glanced at the rest of the letters, obviously looking for the important bills so he could throw the rest of them away. I watched my mom do this all the time, though usually she threw them all the away.

"Dad! Harry's got a letter!" Dudley yelled proudly. What? I felt him grab the letter out of my pocket, it had been sticking out. Damn! I should have bent it in half before putting it into my _front_ pocket.

"Give it back, it's mine!" you know, I sieriously being sirius over here was not going to follow cannon, but what else can you say?

"Foolish boy," Vernon chortled, "Who'd be writing to you?" But then he saw the ripped wax seal of the Hogwarts emblem. He stared at it in horror, flipping it back and forth, Petunia looked at him in what can only be described as sick panic. Dudley demanded to see it, I demanded to see it, but Vernon ripped it up.

"That's not going to stop me from reading it!" I yelled. Vernon didn't get angry at me like I had expected him to. He grinned triumphantly going into the living room-no doubt headed towards the fireplace to burn the 'blasted little thing'.

"They're just going to keep sending them!" Needless to say I was officially 'grounded' and locked inside the cupboard whilst they went on their trip to the zoo. Guess I won't be performing any accidental magic today now, huh?


	2. The BWL to get Grounded

Title: "I'm Harry...just Harry."  
Rated: M  
Summary: I'm Harry Potter; or at least I'm pretending to be, after all this is just a dream…right?  
Genre: Fantasy Romance  
Characters: Harry Potter  
Author Note: I just thought about this while I was working out the next chapter for Another Time (Star Trek 2009), and I just thought for a moment what I would do in her shoes whilst looking at my HP&tSS book.

A/N: when did we stop reviewing the stories we read? I got 45 hits and only Missus Fat has reviewed and put alerts out! Am I doing something wrong? Send me some flames or something plz?

Disclaimer: I do not Own anything that is recognizable, only my mind because that is not recognizable.

Chapter Two: The Boy who Lived to get Grounded

RECAP: I'm not going to bore you with the details of how I ended up in Harry bloody Potters bloody body, 'cause honestly I don't know how it happened. I managed to make breakfast for the Dursley's, get the mail, though I couldn't hide my **cough**harry's**cough** Hogwarts letter, sorta kinda maybe did threaten the Dursleys and wasn't allowed to go to the zoo. Guess I won't be talking to snake's today, eh?

You know, I don't know how Harry remained sane after being locked up in a Closet filled with spiders. Seriously being Sirus here, I freaked about a minute after I heard the car pullaway from the driveway and saw that huge hairy spider right by my socked foot. Harry's socked foot. Who cares whose foot it is there was a bloody spider within bloody a hundred feet of me and I can't stand spiders being that close. So, yeah, my back collided with the shelf behind me, knocked over Col. Mustard, and proceeded to snatch up the shoe jammed between the door and the cot and beat the living H E double hockey stickes out of the effing eight legged freaks. After my tantrum was over and the arachnids got my telepathic message that they weren't loved today and should hide under the bed until they were.

How many letters would it take before I got moved into Dudley's old room, and would I be able to stand a whole two months with the Dursley's before the Term started in September? How did Harry do it, how had he not become Hermoine, Heck I was going to become Hermoine! Now that I think about it I wonder what Hermoine looked like, This Harry was no Daniel Radcliff, this Harry was way cuter and really did have green eyes; so did that mean that the real Hermoine was no Emma Watson?

Oh no, did that also mean...that by default, my favorite character Severus Snape, wouldn't look as half attractive as Allen Rickman?

Since I realised I had all day to think about this, since I'm grounded, in fact I probably had a whole two months. I have decided to take this dream in stride, I've decided also that its one of those dreams you have where everything takes place within seconds on the outside but hours on the inside; like in the movie Inception. But the movie and book in question I had to think about was Harry Potter...What would I do? I know what Harry would do, he'd been a little kid promised his own amusement park with all the icecream he could want. He'd been enamored by the rides, the magic, the attetion, but he had also hated all of it because he couldn't enjoy it like a normal teenager and besides underneathe all that fantasy you had to remember it was a school and school sucks all the fun out of things.

So after a billion letters come Harry's way and the Dursley's go on their mini-vacation and Hagrid shows up...I frown and I bet I turned a little green, I hate hieghts and without a doubt Hagrid had picked Harry up with Sirius' Motorcycle. Worse yet to come, Quiditch. There was no way I was jumping onto a broom and zooming high above a football field, nor did I want to be chased or hit by Bludgers-not to forget the one Dobby or possibly Ginny tampered with in Harry's second year.

This was My Plan:

Step One) show No absolutely NO skill in Quiditch.

Step Two) learn how to play Wizards Chess.

Step Three) try not to act suspicious.

Step Four) try not to Fawn over other characters or burst into random tears because I know they will die later before they can have their happy ending because JK played with her homicidal tendincies.

I looked at the list I had scribbled on the back of a crumpled paper that had been drawn on, the drawing vaguely resembled a childs scribbling of a cloud.


	3. the BWL to not be the BWL

Title: "I'm Harry...just Harry."  
Rated: M  
Summary: I'm Harry Potter; or at least I'm pretending to be, after all this is just a dream…right?  
Genre: Fantasy Romance  
Characters: Harry Potter  
Author Note: I just thought about this while I was working out the next chapter for Another Time (Star Trek 2009), and I just thought for a moment what I would do in her shoes whilst looking at my HP&tSS book.

A/N: when did we stop reviewing the stories we read? I got 101 hits and Besides missus fat, someone anonymous told me great job on giving it my spin-Thank you Anon! REVIEW please !

Disclaimer: I do not Own anything that is recognizable, only my mind because that is not recognizable. I especially do not own any movie's and/or actors/actresses, bands and what not, this is just how I normally think so this is how my OC is going to think don't worry she is not a Mary-Sue, she is a HP-Sue in the fact that she's stuck and confused and trying to look like she is all knowing but we know for a fact that she isn't...and now this is a disclaimer with a run-on that has nothing to do with disclaiming. So here is My all-emcompassing Disclaimer.

Chapter Three: The Boy who Lived to not be the BWL

RECAP: I'm not going to bore you with the details of how I ended up in Harry bloody Potters bloody body, 'cause honestly I don't know how it happened. Whilst locked up in the closet I came up with a plan to survive Hogwarts; Don't play Quiditch, Learn to play Wizards chess, try not to act suspicious, and dont act gay around the other charcters. I think I may have trouble with the last one.

Well when Vernon returned I had no problem obeying my third rule, but I couldn't stop staring at them, so I ended up being locked in the cupboard with no dinner. At first not eating wasn't a problem, but then the living room clock struck one in the morning and I was finding it very difficult to fall asleep on an empty stomach. Now I know how Wilbur felt in Charlottes Web. Except their was no way I was asking Charlotte to write some slogan in her web because then it would be blamed on me and I wouldn't get any food again.

I thought of evrything to come, ignoring the billions of funny ways to get a letter, living on that miniature island, having to ride Sirus motorcycle...Sirus Black. Like all fans we dearly love Harry's godfather, he wouldn't be free for another two years and even though he would escape Azkaban he still wouldn't be free from the law and he was fated to die two years after that!

What to do? I couldn't possibly leave Sirus with the Dementors for two more years, let alone another day, but Harry was a child and didn't know anything about his godfather or the crimes he was accused of. I needed someone on the outside, but there wasn't anyone I could trust with the truth...Harry Potter couldn't walk into the ministry ranting about Death Eater trickery...or could he? I slapped myself, "No, he couldn't, I don't care what you think, the world doesn't work the same way as your mind does...why am I talking aloud to myself in third person? I...Don't know," Note to self try not to talk outloud in third person may seem suspicious and we don't need another reason for Severus to hate us. What? Can't let a girl dream? Oh, wait, I'm already dreaming aren't I?

_Time Skip_

"Why's the T on?" I said, "Why's the T on? Why's the Light on?" I asked. Why the bloody hell was it so hard to say Light that I could only get the last letter out? I shivered when the morning air hit my bare arms. The Dursley's home was mighty cold in the morning. I yawned, hunching over to get my arms back under the covers and kinda just sat slash lay there like that for a while. I couldn't get out of the closet yet the bloody thing was locked from the outside. Guess who won't be making breakfast today?

Where was that bloody light coming from anyway? I looked through the thingy-ma-bob that looked like the vents in my house to see the hallway light on. Petunia was pacing back and forth fretting about something.

"What's wrong?" I asked, she jumped and looked at the closet vent to see Harry/My green eyes watching her. I was worried for her, worried about what ever was bothering her; if one could ignore the fact that she seemed to hate Harry a bunch, she was just another mother, and in this view I decided to see her just like one of the mothers of my friends which I had no problem calling mom cause it only seemed natural. She went back to her pacing, glancing at the closet every now and again. "Mom?" I asked, she froze, staring at the floor. Call me emotional but I can't be in a world where there is not an older figure in which to call my mom, Harry hadn't met Molly Weasley yet, and even when he did it was a whole year before he went over to there house. "It's Hogwart's isn't it?"

"What do you know, you...you, Freak," she spit the word out, as if she had to force it from her throat, I didn't believe it for one minute. Petunia was just as in love with magic as she had been when she begged Dumbledore to let her go to school with Lily. Maybe if he had there wouldn't have been any animosity between the two sister's.

I didn't say anything for a couple minute's till she had gone back to pacing, it wouldn't hurt to tell the Dursley's or at least Petunia, right? A muggle would believe in the impossible magic faster then a real wizard would I was certain of. "Alot of things are coming this way," she stopped again and looked at me, she reached out to unlock the door and turned the handle, she saw me sitting there on Harry's bed huddled into the covers.

"What are you talking about? Explain,"

I frowned and looked off to the side at , his sword was raised as if he were about to shout 'Charge'. "There are alot of things I know that I shouldn't." I said, deciding to choose my words carefully. There was no way I was going to tell her I wasn't Harry and have her run to Dumbledore to tell him I was possessed.

"And these thing's? Magic," she scoffed.

"No, the future, actually." I decided to smile, I would come off as the twin version of Tom Riddle but if it got me what I wanted like it got him what he wanted, then by god I would style Harry's hair, and go buy dress pants as if to go to a party.

She frowned, glancing my way again. She shifted her wieght back and forth, she seemed to almost be dancing to some unheard music. She really was a mother in the sense that you couldn't find a fault in her beauty. Her face was described long and horse like because she had high arched cheek bones like a fashion model and her straight white teeth would be the love of any Dentist. Even I envied those white teeth because everytime I went to the Dentist I had a cavity, the Dentist marveled at how good he did his work because none of my fillings had fallen out yet. Must brush Harry's teeth today and everyday do not want to ruin my slim chances with Severus even if he does turn out to have yellow teeth like in the book. I may have to forgo my love of bubblegum also. "Go on," she whispered, I had her attention.

"If Vernon continue's to destroy the letter's they'll just keep coming, more and more each day in the most bizzar ways. Until on Sunday when they will literally flood the house and Vernon will tell you we're going to and I quote 'move away, move far away, where they can't find us,' of course that doesn't woprk ether, I am Harry Potter, The boy who lived, and Dumbledore wants me at Hogwarts no matter what." I loved the old man but there was never any doubt in my mind that some part of him was more grey then white.

"What would you have me do?"

"Write to Dumbledore-I know you've done it before, long ago, tell him I'll be attending and to send someone to take me to Diagon Alley 'cause you've forgotten the way." Not to mention I had no clue where the Leaky Cauldron was in London and I was pretty sure it moved around magically and didn't have a wand to summon the knightbus.

"And the 'other things', you mentioned?" Petunia asked.

"The man who killed my parents, is coming back,"

"Sirius Black?"

"No, he didn't have anything to do with the death of my parents, I'll have to fix that later this year, He's been unjustly imprisoned without trial which would have prooven his innocence. No, the other man, the man who was going around with his jolly men and slaughtering muggle's and starting a war."

"He-who-must-not-be-named," Petunia hissed, although I didn't know how she knew that little nickname I was certain either Dumbledore or Lily had told her about him. If I was her sister I would have told her and been keeping tabs on her like a demented stalker.

"That's right, Voldemort. He's back, He's wondering around the wizarding world right now keeping his head down." see? Muggle's did not question how or why a wizard knew the future because the greatest wizard of all Merlin himself was said to have been able to see the future. I loved merlin, but only because he chose the hot Nicholas Cage to be his apprentice in the Sorcerrers Apprentice.

"You will not be going where there is a Murderer running around free!" she hissed. I knew it, she is a mother, see how caring she is evn though she slightly hates/fear Harry.

"You have to, I am the only one who can kill him."


	4. The BWL to Bargain

Chapter 4 the BWL to Bargain

Title: "I'm Harry...just Harry."  
Rated: M  
Summary: I'm Harry Potter; or at least I'm pretending to be, after all this is just a dream…right?  
Genre: Fantasy Romance  
Characters: Harry Potter  
Author Note: I just thought about this while I was working out the next chapter for Another Time (Star Trek 2009), and I just thought for a moment what I would do in her shoes whilst looking at my HP&tSS book.

A/N: when did we stop reviewing the stories we read? I got 101 hits and Besides missus fat, someone anonymous told me great job on giving it my spin-Thank you Anon! REVIEW please !

Thanks to Kitty243 for her review so I typed the next chapter up just for you!

A?N: Last chapter in the paragraph where he/she looks over and see's a figure raising a sword as if to say charge-that was suposed to say , I was typing and thinking to fast to realise I skiped over him.

Disclaimer: I do not Own anything that is recognizable, only my mind because that is not recognizable. I especially do not own any movie's and/or actors/actresses, bands and what not, this is just how I normally think so this is how my OC is going to think don't worry she is not a Mary-Sue, she is a HP-Sue in the fact that she's stuck and confused and trying to look like she is all knowing but we know for a fact that she isn't...and now this is a disclaimer with a run-on that has nothing to do with disclaiming. So here is My all-emcompassing Disclaimer.

Chapter Four: The Boy who Lived to Bargain

RECAP: I'm not going to bore you with the details of how I ended up in Harry bloody Potters bloody body, 'cause honestly I don't know how it happened. Whilst locked up in the closet I came up with a plan to survive Hogwarts; Don't play Quiditch, Learn to play Wizards chess, try not to act suspicious, and dont act gay around the other charcters. I also figured out that I needed a mother figure because I'm a big baby and I'm out to make it seem like Harry can see the future. Muggle's will believe faster then a Wizard, amazing isn't it?

Petunia watched me, her eyes-an amazin shade of green, probably just like lilys-were slightly glazed over with tears. "Your just a child," she whispered. She was probably thinking of her sister and James, how they were struck down in their youth, and how now their son was going to join them.

"I won't kill him for years yet," I replied, I was tempted to call her mom again, but I bit back the urge with a small smile; later I would; maybe in the letters I would write her from Hogwarts. I had to warm her up to the idea of the endearment coming from me, and later if Vernon didn't turn out to be an ass I'd be willing to call him Dad.

"Your just Harry!" she yelled. She slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes darted up to the cieling. Everything was silent. Vernon and Dudley were still sleeping and hadn't been woken by her shout.

"Yes, I am Harry...just Harry, but; what do I need to say to get you to let me go?" What can I say to reassure Petunia that her nephew would be safe in Hogwarts-maybe that's what I had to say, even if I didn't believe it.

She was silent still. I felt like I was begging to go to my friends house and already knowing she'll say no but wondering how many chores I'll have to promise to do and never do to go. "You'll be going no matter what, won't you," she sniffed. "I don't have a say in the matter."

That's when I started to realise that Petunia was just as much a fan of Harry Potter as I was, but in the sense that she knew magic existed-but she was a spurned fan, because she was a muggle and not welcomed into that world, even if her sister was a witch. She had gone to King's Cross; had she gone to Diagon Alley? She may not be allowed at the school, but she was allowed to be in the community! "Yeah," I answered in a breatheless voice, ooohhh the possibilities were running through my head; this could work, that could work, everything would work...I just needed Petunia on my side.

More silence, Petunia seemed to be staring off into the living room, her eyes trained on the mantle with its many pictures of Dudley. She may have not have found the silence awkward but I did, I'm spewing unbelievable nonsense and all a sudden we had come to a standstill. It was time to change the subject and adress the spiders, "Can I have Dudley's old rec room?" It was time to come out of the closet, I don't know if the pun was intended or not. I hadn't seen Dudley's playroom yet; I've been grounded all of yesterday remember; I was curious to see all the toys broken or not and to have the chance to play with them myself. I may really be a Nineteen year old in real life when I was not dreaming but that did not mean I couldn't amuse myself.

"Why you ungrateful little-" she began, but Petunia paused, she went over the conversation we were having. She thought about the little truce we were laying down.

"Just in case, you know, if they send us another letter," which I was hoping they would, "before yours reaches them," who knew how long it took a muggle letter to get to hogwarts via nonmagical transport; a conspiracy, perhaps they had magical folk in the post offices world wide. "Kind of suspicious, ah, you know, when its addressed to the cupboard under the stairs." I was very tempted to say it looked like child abuse but that would probably make her as angry as it did my mom when I mentioned it in angry sarcasm.

She glared but nodded, yeah she was just like my mom, she had started getting my drift and probably understood that I was holding myself back from saying that offensive word. But what else could you call this? Knowing the goverment, they'd say it was the right of the legal guardian to punish the guard-y as they saw fit. I probably should drop hints that Dudley was a walrus and shold be returned to the zoo.


	5. The BWL to Guess who

Chapter 4 the BWL to Guess who

Title: "I'm Harry...just Harry."  
Rated: M  
Summary: I'm Harry Potter; or at least I'm pretending to be, after all this is just a dream…right?  
Genre: Fantasy Romance  
Characters: Harry Potter  
Author Note: I just thought about this while I was working out the next chapter for Another Time (Star Trek 2009), and I just thought for a moment what I would do in her shoes whilst looking at my HP&tSS book.

A/N: when did we stop reviewing the stories we read? I got 273 hits and like 5 reviews, oh well, PUNCH BUGGY NO PUNCH BACK ~~%$%#~~Thanks to Kitty243 for her review so I typed the next chapter up just for you! Your one of my favorites now, so here's the next chapter!

A/N: I am apologizing for the double spacing at the end, I typed it up on my cellphone (again) and sent it to my email, so when I put it up here it's all crammed together, and when I go to press enter for one space it gives me two~~so I hope you guys love my dedication-try typing a story up on a qwerty keyboard and noticing your mistakes! :)

Disclaimer: I do not Own anything that is recognizable, only my mind because that is not recognizable. I especially do not own any movie's and/or actors/actresses, bands and what not, this is just how I normally think so this is how my OC is going to think don't worry she is not a Mary-Sue, she is a HP-Sue in the fact that she's stuck and confused and trying to look like she is all knowing but we know for a fact that she isn't...and now this is a disclaimer with a run-on that has nothing to do with disclaiming. So here is My all-emcompassing Disclaimer.

Chapter Four: The Boy who Lived to Guess who

RECAP: I'm not going to bore you with the details of how I ended up in Harry bloody Potters bloody body, 'cause honestly I don't know how it happened. Whilst locked up in the closet I came up with a plan to survive Hogwarts; Talked to Petunia and managed to convince her to Write a letter to Dumbledore and figured out how to rule the world...scratch that last part. That's for the next dream when I take over Hermoine or Bellatrix's body and seduce Snape.

The next day-actually-the same day, anyway the next time I woke up, Petunia ushered me up the stairs to start cleaning Dudley's old rec room. Things needed to be put into boxes labeled; keep, store, sell, Junk-I was to get started on it whilst she kissed Vernon goodbye to go to work. I wished she had made me pull weeds out of the flowerbed so I could have seen his and maybe hers too, horrified faces at the two -or was it three,- letters on the front doorstep.

The room shocked me. It was way smaller then in the movie, smaller then my room, but about the size of one of my friends room; I envied my friends with small rooms-though they always looked like a clusterfuck. One I needed to clean. Harry's wasn't my house-nor really my room-so I had no problem cleaning it. What can I say, I like to snoop.

Now there's an idea-parents should trade kids for a couple hours when they wanted something done.

To give you something to visualize here, it was about four feet wide and somewhere around seven feet long; and I was waist deep in toys. It looked like a combination of my brothers room with all his toys and my room with all my books and random notebooks with only a couple pages written on.

I listened to the sound of Petunia's fast approaching footsteps. Leaning on the doorway frame I saw her brown hair in its many ringlets styled this and that before I saw her horror filled eyes. I gulped~literally gulped, my throat made a noise when I swallowed, was this a natural look I would have to geet used to or was something literally wrong?

"Its not fair!" Dudley howled like a wounded puppy. Now normally I wouldn't kick a puppy but I had already decided that Dudley was no puppy he was an illegal walrus.

"Life's not fair, the doctor did all he could but you still pulled through." I said 's face scrunched up in thought, I stared at him in shock, was he really that stupid? Smelting must have beat the shit out of him for him to become smarter, honestly. He looked like an ugly pug, I normally fine pugs to be adorable and quiet amusing-but no, not this one! "Please stop making that face I think I may barf,"

"Be quiet!" Petunia hissed, when she saw Dudley about to retort~I think he funally got the idea that I was making fun of him. " The both of you!" Petunia did a great impression of a snake just then, it was probably the only reason Dudley shut up. Wow~angry Mom~lvl ? Elite Human, avoid aggro at all cost. All I needed was a shiny object for this to make a great RPG, before I could turn around to find one, hopefully something sharp to poke Dudders with, Petunia told me to go downstairs and that she would clean the room and hopefully it would be cleared by the time I got back.

"Got back? Where am I going?"

"There is a professor here to escort you to..." she glanced angerly at Dudley," them," oh. So, did that mean I wouldn't get to see Hagrid give Dudley a pigs tail and hear him squeal?

"I will not have some crack pot old fool teach him magic tricks," I whispered dramatically as I made my way down the stairs. "Never, insult-shiiiiii-Hi," I whispered, my jaw hanging down. Standing in front hallway, his body blocking most of the light from the open front door was none other then Severus Snape. "Where's -" I began but shut up, not because yes Snape was glaring at me like one of the teachers at my high school, but because it would seem very suspicious for a ten going on elleven year old that had been secluded from the magical world to know the name of one of its magical schools groundskeepers.

Guess I won't be bumping fists with a half giant today, huh, I was looking forward to that. 


	6. The BWL to bump fists w a giant

Chapter 5 the BWL to Knock fist with a Giant...Half giant

Title: "I'm Harry...just Harry."  
Rated: M  
Summary: I'm Harry Potter; or at least I'm pretending to be, after all this is just a dream…right?  
Genre: Fantasy Romance  
Characters: Harry Potter  
Author Note: I just thought about this while I was working out the next chapter for Another Time (Star Trek 2009), and I just thought for a moment what I would do in her shoes whilst looking at my HP&tSS book.

A/N: when did we stop reviewing the stories we read? I got 273 hits and like 5 reviews, oh well, PUNCH BUGGY NO PUNCH BACK ~~%$%#~~Thanks to Kitty243 for her review so I typed the next chapter up just for you! Your one of my favorites now, so here's the next chapter!

A/N: I am back~~extra long for you guys! **whisphers** actually the scene was naturally this long.

Disclaimer: I do not Own anything that is recognizable, only my mind because that is not recognizable. I especially do not own any movie's and/or actors/actresses, bands and what not, this is just how I normally think so this is how my OC is going to think don't worry she is not a Mary-Sue, she is a HP-Sue in the fact that she's stuck and confused and trying to look like she is all knowing but we know for a fact that she isn't...and now this is a disclaimer with a run-on that has nothing to do with disclaiming. So here is My all-emcompassing Disclaimer.

Chapter FIVE: The Boy who Lived to knock fist with a giant...half giant.

RECAP: I'm not going to bore you with the details of how I ended up in Harry bloody Potters bloody body, 'cause honestly I don't know how it happened. Whilst locked up in the closet I came up with a plan to survive Hogwarts; Talked to Petunia and managed to convince her to Write a letter to Dumbledore and though it turned out how I had hoped, I got to go to Diagon Alley, the Downside was it was Severus Snape who came to pick me...Guess I won't be bumping fists with Hagrid today, huh?

So when I got back from my-oh, oh? You want to know what happened on my trip with Severus and how I'm not dead. Well, where did I leave off? Oh, right, Severus was at the front door, glaring at my almost-swear.

"ummm...Uh...Hi?" I squeaked. Severus glared darkened. "Cauldrons bottom," I wizard sweared. Prof. Snape didn't even blink so maybe YouTube was lying but oh well I will make it true, YouTube has never led me down an alleyway I couldn't laugh in.

"Let's go," He drawled, looking as if he was being told to drink ten day old milk, that was probably the clothes I was wearing; I hadn't taken a bath last night, and I don't know how long Harry has been wearing these clothes, at least Snape didn't know that he probably just didn't like the oversize-ness of them. If this was an FF net story I could just hear the maniac rant going on in his head, _The BWL is trying to make a fashion statement, he has enough money to buy clothes that fit~and he's wearing those blasted glasses I've seen on his fathers face~why doesn't he get with the times and get more fashionable glasses?_

"Uh...Who are you?" I asked. Stranger danger even if I did recognize him, really I wanted him to talk again so I could see if he really had yellow teeth. "Sir," I added as an after thought, but not as a question.

"I am, Professor Snape, Slytherin's Head of House, and your Potion's teacher." He drawled again. No yellow teeth, they were actually suprisingly white. His voice was velevty smooth, if only I was a girl right now, then I could flirt outrageiously...no I wouldn't, but still, all the more to dream.

"I didn't sign up for chemistry this year, sir," besides acting completely oblivious~I mean come on Hagrid hasn't shown up to explain that Harry's parents didn't die in a car crash and they were able to do magic, Dumbledore would be suspicious if I knew about magic when he made sure Harry wouldn't grow up around it~, that was amusing, besides I wanted to hear more of his voice. It was the kind of voice you only had when you dreamed; like, it was just perfect, did JK never tell us that he was a siren or veela lineage? Severus glared some more, he had a cute glare too, **enough **_obsessing_ and sounding like a Mary sue~~ he explained that he was from Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry...he explained my mother, harry's mother Lily, was a witch; he never once stopped glaring at me nor did he mention James.

Old scars never heal I guess.

"I'm here to take you to Diagon Alley and get your school supplies...as...listed. What are you staring at, Potter?"

"Nothing," I said slowly; one could not reply quickly, that was suspicious, also, one could not reply too slowly, that was also suspicious and you looked dumb. You guessed it I had been staring very hard at his pearly whites. "So...are we going to go there now, sir?"

"Yes," Snape snapped and turned around in a whirling storm of black robes. I did a victory dance, its like the charlie brown but in circles, Snape glanced behind him and told me to hurry up when I made a full circle. Please tell me he didn't see me. Thank God...or Merlin...I'm going to go with Deity from now on.

...

I officially hate the Night Bus, I recognised the old man driving the bus, the thick frames of his glasses making him look bug-eyed, his white hair thin and I could clearly see the pink skin underneathe. At first it was fun, like a really fast rollarcoaster...but then came the squishing; yes...it was JUST LIKE MAGIC...but this is the kind of magic I do not mind hating. I'll give you some tips if you ever find yourself on the night bus; don't hold your breathe, close your eyes, and stay still. I expierenced some bad vertigo when I watched everything got squashed together, holding my breathe made me feel like I was suffocating, and after moving the first few times I ended up with weak knees.

It came to a screeching halt, the wheels burning rubber...It's a magical bus, why did it have to do that? I stumbled off on jelly legs and it was no small blow to my pride that I wanted to drop and kiss the asphalt...but I refrained. The leaky cauldron was in front of us, I only recognized the black bar for what it was because of a sighn hanging from a rusting peice of metal that stuck out from the wall. Did those have a name?

Snape didn't wait for me to get my land legs back and he quickly brushed past me, I did a half hearted turn out of his way, but his cloak still hit my legs. I glared at his back. Really, why did he have to be so mean? Makes me want my old teachers back, the ones who dote on me and even when their mad at me they still got laughter in their eyes. _Stop,_ I told myself, _Give him a chance, I know he's diffrent then how he's portrayed. _But something also told me that it would be a long time before he acted friendly to me.

He turned around when he reached the doorstep and realised I wasn't by his side or behind him for that matter, he sneered. "Come along, Potter,"

I smiled indulgently, "That's_ Mister _Potter, Professor, wouldn't want others to assume we were anything other then a teacher and a student." I shortened the distance between us though and continued through the doorway as if I hadn't just insulted him and covered it up with sprinkling rainbow innocence.

...

Hagrid was a tall, tall, really tall, I mean really, really-real, tall man.

His head was inches from brushing the equally tall, tall, really tall, I mean really, really-real, tall ceiling.

And he was looking at me with such large eyes, they had to be the same diameter as my FIST!, but this all looked completely natural on him because he was all the right proportions. I always thought that he would out of proportion but he looked like a normal person...this is probably how a dog or a cat saw a human (in color of course).

"Why, it's Profess'r Snape, How's th' day been treatin' you?" Hagrid asked, his eyes dissmissed Harry completely taking in the forboding teacher.

"Fine...The usual, a better day then most, showing snivelling brats around all day." Snape said in a bland tone, greeting Tom.

Hagrid's eyes locked on him finally, smiling indulgently. I put out my fist. "Hello,"

"Er, hello? What'sa," Hagrid looked at my fist then back at me a couple times, making a vague gesture at it. I felt a cool breeze that smelled like several different types of alchol and I could even smell the fish in the closest tables fish'n'chips. I will never understand people who can eat fish. I hate it...I hate it all...with a passion...a fiery gryffindor passion...a freezing death slytherin passion. "Whats' all this about, lad?"

"Uh, um...your supposed to bump my fist with your fist...its a greeting...all the rage these days?" I smiled hesitantly.

Hagrid grinned as well, chuckling, he brought his large hand forward, about the size of my head, curling the digits one by one and softly bumped my small eleven year old fist. I smiled giddily up at him.

"What's your name, lad?"

"Harry...Harry Potter," I answered contiueing to grin like a five year old at christmas. I GOT TO BUMP FISTS WITH A GIANT...A HALF-GIANT!


	7. The BWL to annoy Snape

Chapter seven...the boy who lived to annoy snape

Title: I'm Harry...Just Harry."

Summary: I was simply just a normal everyday teenage girl having a disturbing dream where I am Harry Potter, until I wake up, I'm going to make the most of it.

Rating: simple, PG-13, may be upped later

SHOUT OUT to all my reviewers and to those readers who were waiting for an update, you probably even gave up hope on me, But im back from training finally and yesterday i was going to type this up and post it but I kept falling asleep looking at the screen because it had been a long day at work. ANYWAY :) I re-read what I had wrote and I was inspired to write up the next chapter...obviously **hehe looks around nervously**

To answer anyone wondering the same thing as Genobeast (did i get that right?) this will not be slash, as much as I do love slash and support it along with its sister and aunts and uncles out there-as long as its a good romance I'll read it-but no this one will not be, it would seem a little odd for the girl in harrys body to treat the dream like a permeanant sex change and go gallavanting over the hills to steal everyones hearts, now if it was more plot with a sexchange and all the mental things that go with it to make it believable then alright...this characters only problem aside from No-Lovin-anything-w/-a-beating-heart is the need to go to the bathroom.

Chapter Six: The BWL...to further annoy Snape

"I'm Harry, Harry Potter," she said smiling up at the half giant, she wondered how tall a real giant was because she was finding it hard to put the half infront of the giant while looking at the really ( a lot of really's) tall man. Hagrid beamed down at her. His teeth were perfectly white a straight, these people were making her jealous of thier teeth, she just might hex some one if they said it was because of magic-bad enough she wasn't blessed with good enough genes that gave you naturally good teeth.

"Well I'll be! Of course you are, Blimey Harry I haven' seen you since you was a baby! You probably don' reemember me, though, you were just a little tyke." Hagrid gave a half bow, which had me grinning in delight, Severus looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. He was probably even thinking, _Stupid Potter, doesn't get enough worship at home, he has to make fools out of fools, oh why did I agree with Dumbledore on taking him to get his school supplys. _" The names Hagrid, Rebeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds of Hogwarts."

She waited for him to continue but nothing seemed forth coming so she bid him a good day reminding him that Severus was on a busy schedule and it was all Harry's fault. She wondered as she followed Snape through the backdoor into a bricked alleyway about the unfinished quote. '-Course you know all bout that-blimey, Harry, didn't you wonder where your mom and dad learned it all-magic, your a wizard harry, and a thumpin gooda one two once dumbledore fixes you up-dont insult albus dumbledore to me,' and cue the pigs tail that Dudley would've gotten for getting caught eating her cake..."Oh No, My Cake!" she cried in horror.

Snape glared over his shoulder at her not stopping to ask the importance of the cake was, simply sneering " Trust me, Potter, your precious cake will be untouched still by the time you return to your residence."

"No, you don't understand! I don't get any cake now, do I?" she said rhetorically, obviously he didn't understand what she was talking about, and no one would, not even Hagrid. She wondered if he would give her the cake after she arrived at Hogwarts...that was one hopeful and positive thought.

"Pity," Snape said sarcastically.

"yes, yes it is," she nodded her head continueing to think about how long she would have to wait for the mysterious cake, it had strawberry icing, but the books never said what type of cake it had been...what if it was a magical cake? She wanted a magical cake!

"Sir," Snape sneered.

Was he always this snide? It seemed she would have to love him from a distance. "There's no need to call me sir, professor," she smirked remembering that quote, although she couldn't remember quite when it came from.


	8. The BWL to Giggle

Chapter Eight...the boy who lived to Giggle

Title: I'm Harry...Just Harry."

Summary: I was simply just a normal everyday teenage girl having a disturbing dream where I am Harry Potter, until I wake up, I'm going to make the most of it.

Rating: simple, PG-13, may be upped later

SHOUT OUT to everyone whose reading; this is my apology for being so late to update, my grandmothers internet was acting wacky with the site, still i, but we got a computer from RAC this month and now i'm piggybacking my grans wifi. :'3

ONE MORE THING! someone said they wanted to hear everyday things that we normal teenagers say-Send me some suggestions please, your suggestion will appear in the following chapters "Just Like Magic!" until I have your input, I'll try to think of things that are normally said during my day.

Chapter Seven: The BWL...to gasp for air.

RECAP

Was he always this snide? It seemed she would have to love him from a distance. "There's no need to call me sir, professor," she smirked remembering that quote, although she couldn't remember quite when it came from. My names Harry Potter and I'm ready for them to give me my cake so I can prove that I can have my cake and eat it too, as long as I only eat a small slice of that cake everyday.

END RECAP

Maybe I shouldn't have been sarcastic, Snape is obviously enjoying my sick expression from the cart ride down to my vault, I thought it be fun, just like a roller coaster-except I forgot that I hated roller coaster. I'm getting ahead of myself though.

Upon entering Gringotts, Snape was seething the entire time, obviously unhappy with my comment. "Are those goblins?" I shouted, drawing attention to us. It was like walking into a library full of grownups. It was just to quiet. I did it partly because I was honestly shocked to see these-well I don't know if its rude to say-disfigured midgets with premature balding wearing suits.

I glanced up at Snape who was once again sneering down at me, I was starting to hate being short. But this was the second reason I had loudly proclaimed my surprise at seeing the Goblins, though I knew they would be there. He was doing his utmost to ignore me. The only time he turned around to make sure I was following was when we reached the doors to the bank, the building itself making me think of the leaning tower of pizza..or was it pisa? oh well, it sounded like pizza, anyway I got the impression that wizards might have been influenced with muggle architecture when they were building it.

"...," he didn't answer my question, just glared once more. "Come along, Potter. We must withdraw money from your accounts to acquire your school supplies." hmm...he said accounts, as in plural, as in more than one. Even though it wasn't my money really I couldn't help but feel the giddiness building up knowing that I was set for life. I wanted to go shopping so bad! But the thought of spending my time shopping scared me, what if I woke up, then I would have wasted my precious time in Harry Potter World on things I didn't even get to have the fun of owning.

Snape led the way over to some unknown goblin, yes they had a variety of looks and all and I constantly read fan fictions where Harry recalls the faces of the goblins who he did business with etc etc but honestly my thoughts weren't memorizing facial features and names it was thinking; money, school supply's, owl, ice cream, Draco, wand...Money, books, owl, Draco, wand...oh crap, I couldn't remember when Harry went into madam Malkins to get his school robes and had his first meeting with Malfoy! It was in the book not the movies-I'm a fan of both but I've only read the books once! The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that I had the date all wrong. Here I am worried about not bumping into Draco and he's not even in Diagon Alley today. It was a whole month before the event where Hagrid rescued Harry off the island. Fate might still intervene though, I speculated, I hadn't thought I would be meeting Hagrid but we did. Certain things weren't said, information still hadn't been given about how Harry's parents had died, things I didn't need to know cause I knew them but things that the real Harry would've needed to know...course everything could be explained away.

How did you know who killed your parents? The Dursleys told him, that's what Hagrid had expected them to do. How do you know such advanced spells? A bit of light reading, that's what Hermoine would say. I was bound to slip up once or twice, but that was all dust under the rug..or carpet...whatever.

"And does Mr. Harry Potter, have his key?" the goblin asked, pulling me from my musings.

I looked up puzzled and pointed at the giant bat next to me. Oh wait that's not a bat, ha ha, that's just Snape reaching into his robes for 'the little bugger'. He 'got it in there somewhere.'

Quoting things in my head was never gonna loose its pricelessness for everything else, theirs a master card somewhere. Someone just saved a bunch of money on their car insurance. "Are there any talking giecco's?" I asked.

Snape gave me a weird look.

"What?" I asked perplexed. This was a magical dream world wasn't it? Hey, there's another thought, why couldn't the animagi talk like the animals on Narnia? hmmm... they should, I'll have to write a crossover about it or get someone else to...and one about the guards of ga'hoole...Hedwig can be the princess. "HEDWIG!" I shouted, my head jerking around, luckily not causing whiplash as I looked for an escape out of the bank. I stopped on my first step. I would need money to get her, darnnit!

"What are you going on about now?" Snape snarled, his robes billowing out as he turned to face me, he was giving me his deadliest mongoose eye. I giggled, then proceeded to slap a long sleeved shirt covered hand over my mouth, and gasped into the cloth for air trying to contain any further outbursts.


	9. The BWL to Shop

The BWL to Aquire an OWL

The cart ride up was just as bad as the cart ride down, and Snape didn't have to stop at "Vault number you know which to aquire you know what". Being th typical Snape, the first place we stopped was the Apothecarie, and I'm pretty sure we got extra supplies but he still refused to let me/Harry buy the blasted Golden Cauldron even though I told him I just wanted it because it was shiny.

He stopped at the door on our way out, trying to decide on where to next when I shouted "OWLS! I NEED AN OWL! A SNOWY ONE! WITH GOLDEN EYES!" and a cage, did I have to buy a cage?

He glared at me, "And then we'll go about getting your robes and maybe ome more..." He sneered down at Dudleys Hand me Downs, "proper clothing." oh, jeeze did he have to go and embarrass me and make me feel terrible? I mean come on, obviously I am not comfortable wearing the pants (i can live with the overly large shirts), but I had managed in all the amazingly magical-ness of everything going on to forget that i looked like a Alladin to these people; if Alladin had been known to be a prince and yet wore the clothes of a street rat? I don't know what I'm thinking really, but these people have been doing double takes almost the entire time we were in the alley. First because they saw Severus, second because they saw me, then they looked again to make sure they weren't hallucinating.

But I got a hold of Hedwig, cage and all, she didn't seem to care about me, but she wasn't about to bite me so I planned to pet her lots when i got free time. She is mine Hedwig Precious and No Ones shall touch her Precious but Mines own fingers because she is the Precious.

Three sets of school robes later, Severus pushed me into another clothing store, and as tempted as i was to check out the witches fashion first, I turned my head and body towards the Wizards section, maybe on my next trip. I have no problem with a drag queen harry potter, in fact it sounds beautiful. Oh the plots my mind comes up with which will probably never see the light of day.

Severus took hold of Hedwigs cage and gestured at the shelves. "You need to grab at least _seven_ pants, shirts, and undergarments. _At least_."

I grabbed the first pair of pants that were in front of me and tugged them towards me, I looked up when I was met with resistance. Shocked greyish silver eyes looked back at me. Did I say I loved Severus? No that was Idle worship, I just found my first puppy love. Too bad Draco Malfoy would not let go of the Skinny Jeans I wanted.


End file.
